“ The diabolical thing about melancholy is not that it makes you ill but that it makes you conceited and shortsighted; yes almost arrogant. you lapse into bad taste, thinking of yourself as heine’s atlas, whose shoulders support all the world’s puzzles and agonies, as if thousands, lost in the same maze, did not endure the same agonies. ”—Herman Hesse
King Solomon, feeling blue, asked his advisors to find him a ring he had once seen in a dream.
"When I feel satisfied I’m afraid that it won’t last. And when I don’t, I am afraid my sorrow will go on forever. Find me the ring that will ease my suffering." he demanded.
Solomon sent out all of his advisors, and eventually one of them met an old jeweler who carved into a simple gold band the inscription, “this too shall pass.” When the king received his ring and read the inscription, his sorrows turned to joy and his joy to sorrows, and then both gave way to equanimity.
You see, the great King found himself unable to be content. He felt sorrow when he was happy, and sorrow when he was not, because he was unable to see his way forward. The ring served to cancel out his sorrow. By constantly having something to look forward to, he found himself content. What he previously thought was satisfaction was only a superficial feeling that was brought on by his great wealth, which was only temporary, thus his satisfaction could not last forever. True satisfaction could only be found when he recognized his wealth for what it was.
As an adult, she fell in love with a man named Compeyson, who was only out to swindle her of her riches.
Her cousin Matthew Pocket warned her to be careful, but she was too much in love to listen. At twenty minutes to nine on their wedding day, while she was dressing, Havisham received a letter from Compeyson and realized that he had defrauded her and she had been left at the altar.
Humiliated and heartbroken, Havisham had all the clocks stopped at the exact point in which she had learned of her betrayal. From that day on, she remained by herself in her decaying mansion, Satis House, never removing her wedding dress (as a result of being in the process of getting dressed when she receives the letter, she only has one shoe on), leaving the wedding cake uneaten on the table and only allowing a few people to see her.
You need to get out of bed. You need to finally cut off your hair and finally dye it black. You need to start taking a photography class & drink more. You need to not plan your future. You need to love and put yourself first before anyone else. You need to let go of the past and all the damage that came with it. You need to spend the money on yourself & not be afraid. Buy the books you want, along with that expensive Polaroid camera. You need to be honest with yourself. You need to not be afraid. You need to find something to do with yourself in April…along with May, June and July. You need to exist. You need to get your tattoo. You need to accept your pale skin, nose, and flat chest…even if no one else will. You need to accept yourself. You need a new job. You need to ignore. You need to stop being so needy. You need to stop thinking. You need to start running. You need a better sleep cycle. You need to give up. You need to move on with your life. You need to finally go on a picnic, even if it is by yourself. You need to stop keeping the wrong things secret. You need to pick up the pieces of yourself that were broken last year. You need to put them together…& soon. You need to let go. You need to wear less make-up. You need to stop kidding yourself. You need to accept the fact it will NEVER HAPPEN. You need to scream in front of the mirror. You need to start writing again. You need to PROVE THEM ALL WRONG. You need to make amends, and move on. You need to stop being so sad. You need to change.